continuing to count my blessings even in the midst of a negativety storm.

Negativety is still surrounding my life and overshadowing the good things. It is pulling me down. but I find a way to keep going. Today I received many reminders that I have to keep holding on and praying. First I had someone stand up with and for me with social services. My food stamps were decreased down to 16.00 dollars. Noone would help me fill out the application and the case worker just kep blowing me off and not returning my calls. Well my advocate let them know that they didn’t respect me or my disability. Independet living centers are awesome. She said to me you are right and they are wrong and I am going to stand up with and for you.

Next, a couple of weeks ago. I had a honest and comversation with dvr. I also put it it in writing again. I was thankful for what I received from them and that I had concerns and something to say. no matter what I do I am met by a wall by the system that is designed to help me. I work hard, I do what is needed from me by them, and get told no. They have reasons for this that they pull out of somewhere. I also said that it was not consistent and that I was being penallized for many circumstances.   Like, my counselor dying and having to get a new one. I mentioned other things such as they asking me to lie about my case file, having someone go through my closet to decide whether or not to grant me the 500.00 dollar clothing voucher for work.   They still said no. My counselor telling me that she would not take her child to the school where me or any other blind person was working because I wouldn’t see him. Just a few Things that noone else had to go through with them. I could go on and on. But I won’t. So I told DVR that I would find my own way to get jaws.   Today another reminder of having faith and standing on my princeples and for what’s right occurred with rehab. My counselor is going to authorize a jaws upgrade without the maitainance agreement. I am very thankful for this. I will take it.

I believe that you have to pick your battles. I also think that you have to speak your mind, stand up for yourself, and then let go. today is proof. The negativity is still there and overshadowing things. But, I am So glad I am making it through one step and day at a time. With lots of support and love.

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my ramblings

Football is starting.  then comes basketball.  I am happy about these sports. 

Pj is laying on the floor with her belly up and her legs apart.  She doesn’t like the rain or the sprinklers.  She is wagging her tail in her sleep and making little noises. 

The guys downstairs take care of both of us.  They give her snacck and me too. 

I have learned that you are not promised tomorrow.  Life can end at any minute. 

I am getting back into things that make me happy.  Like writing, meditating, and getting involved with a church again.    It isn’t happening fast.  It is just taking place with god’s time in mind.  I believe that my faith is still strong and will get me through.

I have to accept the fact that there will be times that I will never be appreciated for my friendship and support by others.  I will not be told thank you for the advice and for caring. 

Change is something that is both a challenge and very good.  I don’t like to deal with change much because it brings me out of my comfort zone at times. 

I hope that I can get through this class and pass it.  I am really trying to get things done and stay on top of things.  I have to believe that things will get better and that the negative cloud is going to be there and I will just go with it.  With the hope that there will be more positive cloud will become bigger and the negative one will get smaller.  I need a vacation.  I have been busy working all summer.  May be during the holidays, or around my birthday.  I will get a vacation. 

Pj just woke up and then attacked her simpson toy.  She is very happy with herself for this. 

Roll tide roll, go rams, and go buffs and go bears.  Go broncos, go giants, and go jetts.  I appreciate my friends and family.  I say thank you for your support and love.  I am done with my ramblings, and other writings.  I feel better now.  Goodnight all.  I wish you blessings. 

 

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what I am thankful and grateful for in life

I have pj.

My mom is healing and still here.

My job.

my struggles.

The sunshine and seeing another day.

MEven when they are crazy and not supportive my family.

Both Forgiveness and the ability to be Forgiving.

Have a belief and and faith. 

The negativity and the barriers in my way.

Being a very good friend.

Providing support and love to my friends.

Taking care of myself.

Giving to others and to myself.

This is my list of things that I am thankful and grateful for in life.

 

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getting rid of the negativety

Pj has been sick.

My friend lost her retired guide dog to cancir.

I have had a stomach virus so missed two days of work which will not help my paycheck.

One of the paratransit drivers was killed over the weekend.

I need to hire more people that can help me with my online class.

I had to change my internet provider and now outlook is not sending mail.

I have some bills to pay.

My faith is shakened and I am a little discouraged.

 

I didn’t do anything to acknowledge my six months at my job.

It is a huge cloud of negativety that is over shadowing the good things.

 

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positive challenge

Pj is on the mend.  She has been sick. 

I am also on the mend as well. 

I am glad that Pj is still on the mend. 

I appreciate all of my friends and my family.

I have been at my job for 6 months now. 

I am becoming more appreciative of life and how it can end in an instant.  Live life and enjoy it.

 

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Today’s positive challenge entry

 

I am somewhat hopeful that wishes and dreams can come true

I have been productive today

It has been a good day today

Laughter is certainly a good thing

There are still barriers in my way and even though they are discouraging, I am still thankful to be experiencing, and working hard to overcome them

I don’t have to beg for people to be my friends

I got paid today

No matter what I still support and love my close and real friends

Even though friendships are at different levels, they still can be good

My faith is shaky and yet still growing

I may not matter to some but I matter to me and to my family and those who love and care about me

The guys downstairs have been spoiling pj and now they have decided to spoil me too They gave her milk bones and me a hershey’s bar

I am hopeful that I will find others to work for me and to help me with my class

It is good to know and to be told that you matter

Today is my sixth month anniversary at my job and I am still enjoying it and celebrating alone like other things in my life

I am still learning each day

Last night my new neighbors down the way came over and introduce themselves and brought me a plate of homemade cookies

I enjoyed the bacon and cheddar loaded potato skins by ruffles with my turkey breast salami on rye.

I am going to work very hard to pass my class and receive my state certificate

I apreciate all of my blessings

I am a good friend that care and I don’t say I told you so

I have a belief in miracles for others, and am working on it for myself

Pj and I made it in before the sprinklers came on yay us

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positive challenge

feeling positive and hopeful
A new way to continue my positive challenge.

I am beginning another step in my journey in my life.
It will be challenging
I will learn a lot, and continue to and grow.
I give a lot of myself.
I have been taking care of me.
My health is good and I am on the way to achieving stability and remission with my graves Disease.
I am a good, supportive, and loving friend.
I am still blessed and thankful for the struggles and barriers in my way.
My faith is still strong and shaky but I am making it through.
Songs that help me through and insure my hope and encourage me. 
the best in me, he has his hands on you, and building my testimony all by Marvin Sapp.  Forgive me by donna summer.  This is it kenny logins, its going to get better cece winans, count on me whitney houston and cece winans, there’s hope India Arie, and both when you cry, and tomorrow by the winans.

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